You can't keep Kiefer out of the Drunk Of The Month very long. This is HIS award. Every other month, he just lets someone else borrow it!

"While at an after-party for a costume gala held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, Kiefer Sutherland confronted and then head-butted clothing designer Jack McCollough. The action left McCollough with lacerations on his nose. Sutherland claimed that he was only coming to the assistance of actress Brooke Shields, saying that McCollough had knocked her over."

Keep it classy Kiefer!

A man trying to use the gate keypad at A Pocono Country Place apparently was so intoxicated he fell out of his pickup truck, which then rolled over his leg. When Police responded, they found Raymond Vangeldren, 52, on the ground, and the truck some distance away in a group of trees.

Vince Shamwow Shlomi!!! This ex-scientologist, ex-"Underground Comedy Movie" star turned "you know the German's make good stuff" and "you'll love my nuts" star.

Shlomi gets a hooker in Miami. Shlomi gives her $1000 for "straight" sex. Shlomi tries to kiss the whore. Whore bites Shlomi's tongue. Shlomi beats the living shit out of whore!!!

I'm calling Vince Shamwow out not to poke fun at him....but to PRAISE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS AMERICAN HERO!!!

Japan's Finance Minister appeared drunk during a speech at the G7 summit meeting. In my honest opinion, he did not appear drunk.....HE WAS WASTED DRUNK OFF HIS JAPANESE ASSHOLE!

He has recently resigned (meaning he WAS actually drunk).

wait for it....wait for it....wait for it.....OK...here's the punchline:

"I sincerely apologize for my appearance at the press conference, in which I was under the influence of too much cold medicine." ---Shoichi Nakagawa

Peru's top court ruled a dude (Pablo Cayo to be exact) could not be fired (which he was) for showing up to work drunk! They ruled it was just as likely that he just SMELLED like alcohol, and was not actually DRUNK. Hooray supreme court of Peru, you deserve your own Bud Light commercial....because you're a real American hero (Peruvian hero in this case).

His body of work speaks for itself.

Convictions:

Possession of methamphetamine

Possession of marijuana

Assault

Driving Under The Influence

New Title:

Mayor of Sodaville, Oregon

It's impossible to fathom that this is Mr. Daly's first time as an esteemed Drunk Of The Month! However, the golf legend is not receiveing this honor for a lifetime of achievement, oh no sir, he's earned it this month.

"Paramedics went to a Hooters restaurant at 1 a.m. after receiving a report that a patron had passed out. When police arrived, they found Daly drunk and unwilling to go to the hospital. He was arrested on a charge of disorderly conduct and was held at the Forsyth County Jail early Sunday morning to sober up".

Let's play Password: North Carolina, Hooters, Drunk, Sleep It Off, County Jail. Uhh...Uhh...Uhh...JOHN DALY!!

You are correct.

This pud was most known for the 1970's AM GOLD classic "All By Myself", the 1980's Dirty Dancing theme "Hungry Eyes" and for one of the worst songs of ALL TIME "Make Me Lose Control". This guy was solely responsible for making Richard Marx look cool! I'm thirsty for a drink just THINKING of that song list. But that's not enough to earn this esteemed title. Mr. Carmen was arrested for his 2nd DUI in less than 2 years. This BAC clocked him at a respectable .234 (a straight flush). Eric Carmen is currently residing in Orange Village, Ohio! That's what writing crap songs gets you: a bicycle and a condo in Ohio!

Such an inspiration. A member of the DUI/DWI club, and look what he's done for himself. Most of the DUI club members aspire to avoid becoming a 2 Star member...but not our Michael...he set his goals a tad bit higher. Besides, you ever tried Chinese beer?